A question that I have considered now more than ever in my life is “How much are you willing to invest in yourself?” It is not an easy question to answer. It would make sense that I would say 100% of everything I’ve got, but this has just not been my reality. Most days I feel like I missed my chance to invest in myself, to take a leap of faith and maybe take a risk and do something that I have never done. The more I think about it the more I realize that this is only the tip of the iceberg. The investments that I am referring to encompass every aspect of your life. We make both short and long term investments each day, with every choice we make. In some investments we sacrifice some sort of monetary or financial asset and with others those assets are in the form of our time, energy and effort. At the end of the day these low-risk daily investments we make can add up to a lot overtime and the hard truth is, that if we are not taking every opportunity to invest in ourselves we can expect to have a pretty underwhelming life ahead.
As I am approaching 40 I find myself in the ” it’s now or never” mentality. This is not because I am dreading turning 40, I am actually pretty excited about it. What they say is true, one decision can change your whole life. I have made some pretty big life decisions lately and I am excited to have the opportunity to course correct and spend the next 40 years living life on my terms. I have spent much of my adult life invested in others and by no means am I saying this in a negative way. I thrive on being there for other people. I love to support them and celebrate their successes. The issue is that this is what I have become, a supporting character in other peoples stories. It is time to focus on my own story. It has been writing itself for years now without my creative direction. The first act was great, no regrets, and it set the stage for a spectacular 2nd act in which I am whole heartedly investing in. “It’s now or never”, right?
Self-Reflection is a critical…
Fear, self-doubt, lack of motivation and money are just a few of the things that hold us back from investing in ourselves. Taking risks when you are in the middle years seems far more difficult than when you were in your mid 20s, with less responsibility and more free time. However through some honest self-reflection I have found this to not be entirely true. What is 100% true is the term, “You have spend money to make money”, and in this stage of my life I am a bit more financially stable and focused on what I want, then I was 15 years ago. It is the “it’s now or never” mindset that will break through the I “can’t” barriers. You have to take an honest look at yourself and acknowledge the place where that fear, self-doubt and lack of motivation is coming from and start there. In any investment you have to sacrifice some assets (time, energy, money…etc), to see any kind of reward or return. No growth comes without failure, we risk losing these assets when we make larger investments but we gain nothing by not trying. When dealing with self-doubt and lack of motivation it is critical to practice self-reflection to get to the root of why you don’t believe in yourself and what is really holding you back from working towards your goal. This all takes time and energy and without spending these assets you will see no gains in the future.
Breaking down the barriers…
The greatest barrier that you need to breakthrough is yourself. There are people who are given every opportunity and resource to chase their dreams and fail over and over again. They too suffer from all the reasons why we “can’t” it’s part of being human and nobody is immune to it. We have to stop telling ourselves that if we just had more assets (time, energy, money..etc) then we could easily make the proper investments in ourselves. The “it’s now or never” mindset is the absolute starting point for investing in yourself and overcoming this. Think about the people who have hit rock bottom, who have literally nothing and still manage to burst through the glass ceiling and grow to their greatest potential, turning fear and desperation into hope and fulfillment. In many of these stories these people had no choice but to take action and invest at the risk of losing it all. Many with no financial stability and resources, they just had to invest in themselves, to believe because the return on this investment was their life. The majority of us fall somewhere in the middle of all this. We are doing our best to juggle the day to day, and settling on our lives because it’s easier to dream than to invest. We have this mindset in which we believe that we need to save every ounce of our assets (time, energy, money…etc) and we do this and we are still rushing, tired and broke. Think of all the time we waste in a day trying to conserve our time, energy and money; at least if we’re going to be tired let’s be tired because we are working towards bettering ourselves.
Taking the first step…
How do we take the first step? This all depends on you and where you are in your life. I have spent many years of my life ignoring my dreams, not investing in myself and settling. Investing in myself is terrifying but as I am moving into the second act of my story, it is necessary. It sets the tone for the direction I want my life to take and most importantly enables my children to see me work to hit my greatest potential as they grow into theirs. They say that you should gravitate towards the things that you keep coming back to or that you day dream about. I love to write, it is cathartic medium for me to share my ideas and opinions. I gravitate towards quotes and song lyrics as I love being able to define and capture moments of my life with feelings and not just photographs and that is why this blog is something that I made a commitment to. I don’t know where it will lead but it is the first step in investing in myself and spending time and energy doing something I can learn and grow from. I have also become increasingly invested in my physical and mental health as these have both been put on the back burner in recent years. This goes beyond weight loss and managing anxiety. It is feeling confident to make decisions that are self-centered at times, it’s saying no to the people and things that don’t add value and positivity to my life and it is learning how to still be a supporting character in other people’s stories as I finally focus on my own.
So, “it’s now or never”; how much are you willing to invest in yourself?
Midlife Mama
The Midlife Mama 