Can we just stop for a minute. What are we really doing by obsessing about this? Lets stop using “slap-gate” as a distraction and taking sides on this situation and ignoring the fact that this is just one of the many incidences of violence that takes place in our communities every single day. Let’s not pretend to be shocked that it happens among the rich and famous as well. This is yet another example of a powerful, well liked man, who didn’t give a second thought to acting out on his frustrations in a violent way. Let’s stop giving more power to a man who chose violence over self-control.
I’ve seen insults thrown out at bars and backyard barbecues that we far worse and more emotionally charged that didn’t lead to a grown man hitting another. If Will Smith truly wanted to defend his wife he could have weilded his power in literally any other way. People would have listened. He had a global stage and opportunity to bring to light and educate people on his wife’s medical condition. Perhaps he could have done this during his speech where he tried but failed to take ownership of his actions. Or maybe he could have done this in a lengthy Instagram post, instead he issued a public apology and then rambled on about how he’s a “work in progress”. As if being a “work in progress” gives you some sort of excuse for your failure to control yourself.
On social media I have seen people getting into arguments with each other over the situation. More shockingly, I have seen grown women defending Will Smith because he was “defending” his woman. Ladies, I hate to break it to you but Will Smith was defending his own pride because a real man fights for his woman in so many other ways, that don’t result in violence. Will Smith is a man who chose to exercise his power in a violent way in a seemingly desperate attempt to prove to his wife that he is capable of protecting her.
Is this what we want to teach our children? Do we want to normalize violence as a means to a healthy relationship? Do we want to teach our children that it’s ok to throw a punch if our feelings are hurt, or we are defending someone else’s feelings? There is a huge difference in somebody hurting your feelings versus somebody coming at you in a manor in which you need to physically defend yourself. In this situation, this is what we should be teaching our children, the right and wrong way to handle situations like “slap-gate”. Over the course of their life, our kids will be presented with more situations in which their feelings are hurt or they are insulted in some way then they will be with incidences that lead to physical violence. As a parent, I want my children prepared for both and that’s the side of the argument that we have been talking about at home, that’s the side we all should be taking about at home.
Furthermore we should be talking more about Chris Rock’s very mature and controlled response to the “slap” heard around the world. He did not use his power and global platform to snap back at Smith. He took the high road because more violence only leads to more violence. We’ve seen this time and time again. Chris Rock is an example of breaking the cycle of violence, of not letting his pride get the best of him or feeling pressure to act like a “man”. He’s an example of taking the high road and not giving “slap-gate” any more power. He made a choice not to press charges, maybe because the slap was weak? Or maybe because he knows that Smith overreacted and people make mistakes, or maybe because despite the fact that Smith just opened the flood gates for idiot copycats to envoke violence on comedians, he knows that this is a no win situation and it’s better to move forward than look back.
At the end of the day, if my husband walked on stage and slapped Chris Rock he would have been arrested immediately. If my husband had punched a random guy in a bar maybe he would have been arrested, maybe he would have got out before the cops came but either way there would have been some immediate reaction to the situation. In this situation “Slap-gate” resulted in no reaction. Smith wasn’t removed from the arena, still won his award and was able to speak after assaulting Rock. He was allowed to “refuse” to leave and even got emotional support from his colleagues. For what? Because “love makes you do crazy things”? No Will, it doesn’t. An over inflated ego, entitlement, and lack of control is why you chose to react violently. Will Smith is a great actor and what we see in the months to follow might just be his best performance ever.
At the end of the day, the fact that we are arguing if this situation was appropriate or not, sheds light on the fact that many in our society put status above the law, and value violence as a form of heroism.
Midlife Mama
The Midlife Mama 